Running Up the Down Escalator

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 13:40:25 GMT

Lord, I"m going through that phase again

That "I'm unwanted" haze again

And I don't want to get trapped like I had before.

Things haven't been that great, you know

And I just want to escape, and though

I try it seems that I can never get away.

I want to cry, I want to yell, I want him to know

To know what he did to me, to know the pain I stow

But he doesn't really listen all that well.

So I"m going through that phase again...

That "I'm unwanted" haze again

and though I try it's all to hard to escape.

The pain can be overwhelming at times

And I'm trying to talk through it in these rymes

But nothing really seems to help.

So can you help me through this phase again?

Take away my pain again?

because sometimes it seems the pain he caused is too great......

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 22:57:23 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
liveonthestage goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as AARG! I'm a Pirate!.
absolutelylove tricks you! You get an eraser.
beautymark_ gives you 15 red-orange lime-flavoured nuggets.
chayris tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy!
greennightlight gives you 7 pink peach-flavoured pieces of taffy.
josiahjebediah tricks you! You get a used tissue.
opal_pink gives you 15 softly glowing lemon-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
uselessthinking gives you 17 light yellow lemon-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
xerox78 gives you 14 purple passionfruit-flavoured nuggets.
liveonthestage ends up with 59 pieces of candy, an eraser, and a used tissue.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 22:33:53 GMT

In Loving Memory of Lisa Rowe

friend to all, defender of the weak, a heart as big as they come

Lisa, we miss you so much! You have left behind quite an impact, you left footprints on my heart. I know you're in a better place now, but all the same I miss you friend.

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 03:17:46 GMT

Hey everybody! I thought I'd "corespond" with you all. Sometimes we lose track of things, you know? But this isn't an ordinary "this is what is going on in my life" kind of post. More of "this is what we are going through/surrounded by in our lives" kind of post. Sometimes we just get things put in our hearts to share with people, and this is one of those things. And so, in my many failed attempts to write something beautiful and encouraging and, well, moving to pass on to those of you I love most dearly, I can think of only this:

How many times do we sit infront of our mirrors, trying to prefect our appearance? For us girls it would be things to the point of how to make our eyes stand out; how to make our lips full and "sexy"; what clothes to wear with which shoes, purse, and perfume; how to make our hair just right; how to attract the right guys and so on.

Read that through. See how many things are there? And I'm positive that I missed some things. We do so many things to ourselves to make us feel better about ourselves, to make us appear better to others, and (once again) so on. But how many times do we go through, doing all those things, and we find that there is still something...something we can't stand about ourselves? Something that we feel is not quite enough, that even after all that we aren't quite enough? Our society has made such a big deal on what to look like on the outside. Showing off supermodels with perfect complexions, figures, and hair. And through all that we make it our top priority to change ourselves, because obviously something is wrong if we aren't how the media says we should be, right?

Wrong! Why do we put so much into changing what we look like on the outside, but still hate ourselves because we can never achieve perfection? Our father has created us in his image, beautiful in His eyes, put here for a purpose. To Him we are all Drop Dead Gorgeous, no matter what we do with our hair, body, or any part of our appearance. Too many times all we hear from others, mostly the media, that if only we could change this or that, then we would really be beautiful. Why can't we see the truth? The truth isn't said often enough...

YOU are beautiful.....

YOU are, and will always be enough, just the way you are....

To someone, YOU are the sunshine on a cloudy day....

YOU make someone's day when you simply give them a smile....

YOU are loved by the Father, no matter what....

God sees YOU as someone so astonishing, YOU were worth dying for....

YOU were- and are -worth the pain, persecution, and hate Jesus faced.....YOU

When Jesus met the Samaratin woman at the well, and asked for a drink, she asked Him: "Why would you ask me? I am a Samaratin." In those days, Jews and Samaratins didn't talk to each other. He said to her "If you knew who I was, you would be asking me for a drink. For I give the Living Water of life. Whovever comes to me shall have a drink, and shall never thirst again."

Whoever comes to me....whoever....

Not "the prettiest" or "skinniest" or "best dressed". Whoever...

Never thirst again.....never....

Not like the things we find in life to make ourselves better, eh? We do this or that or buy these things and for a moment, they might make us happy, but that wears off. And soon enough we "thirst" for something more. God's love isn't like that. It fills us up, no matter what.

God sees YOU as someone so astonishing, YOU were worth dying for....

YOU were- and are -worth the pain, persecution, and hate Jesus faced.....YOU

Christ sacrificed himself for us, because he loved us...because we were- and are -worth everyting to Him. Suddenly spending countless time on finding out how to look just right seems a bit silly, doesn't it?

God loves you. He created you. He knows everything there is to know about you, and He doesn't love you any less. YOU are the most gorgeous thing in the world to Him. YOU.........

Don't ever forget that...

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 17:10:19 GMT

Bevore.........

After!

WHO IS THIS PERSON??????????????

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 01:05:01 GMT

Theresa helped me straiten my hair, and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 22:41:38 GMT

I FEEL SO ACHEIVED!!!!!!!!!!!

I became a member of the duct tape club, and in turn earned enough points to become a member of the illustrious Hall of Fame!!!! If you're bored and want to check it out, here is a link:

Duct Tape Club Homepage: www.ducttapeclub.com [click Hall of Fame in the sidebar!!]

Owen Thomas and Johnny Depp....how do I compare thee?

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 14:22:06 GMT

<---------------------REALLY REALLY HOTT!!

<.....................REALLY REALLY HOTT TOO!

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 22:39:34 GMT

Well, this past weekend was FLIPPIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erica, Sarah, Ryan, and I all camped together at the pro life music festival, and we had so much fun!!!!! (except for you-know-who was there and totally ruined my night saturday. yeah, if you ever read this, I hope you know how crappy you made me feel)

Alex and I staged fake fights and people were like "what are you doing?" It was fun.

But what was even better was standing around talking to OWEN THOMAS!!!!!!!!!!!! (from the Elms) And playing a game of volleyball with Mute Math.

So yeah, it was awesome, and I can't wait till next year to go again.

I am so proud!!

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 18:51:32 GMT

I was so proud of all my duct tape creations, I decided to post them on here:

My wonderful Duct Tape Creations!!

Flip Flops=Duct tape and one peice of cardboard each.....

{Above} Duct Tape Cherry Purse=Nottin' but the good ol' Tape!

{Below} Duct Tape Messenger Bag= Once again, only tape!

{Below} Last but definately not least, my Duct Tape Rose=Duct Tape and wire hanger for stem

[photo edited with 16 color effect]

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 03:34:31 GMT

Wow! It seems as if I have been posting more in the communities that I am in then in my own journal.

So, anyway, drivers ed has been going great! I only have two more days of driving--the final is on wednesday. On Tuesday we are driving to Ft. Wayne, but that only means that I have to go to the early class (poo! I like not having to go till 10. now I'll have to go at 8). I don't really enjoy having to sit in a classroom for two hours strait when it is summer and I should be free. The driving part lasts for two hours also, but that isn't nealy as boring. (p.s Mr. Livergood needs a man bra)

I was so excited to go through the drive through window at Dairy Queen and order my own food and whatnot. (ofcourse I got what I always get-a chocolate cookie dough blizzard. you just can't go wrong with the cookie dough)

The James Dean festival is this weekend, but they are charging twenty bucks just to get in for one day! I understand that it is the 50th anniversary of his death and all, but I am not going in for 20 bucks, I'll just go to Jubillee days instead (almost the same thing as the JD fest, cept for it isn't).

Well, I'm done writing for now.

"Like a fully laiden swallow....."

pictures

Sat, 28 May 2005 20:00:26 GMT

Yeah! I finally figured out how to use the lj cut thanks to, billie0 so now I can post pictures without them being as incredibly annoying as the play picture post. (If you couldn't tell by now, one ofof my hobbies is photography. Theese aren't my best pictures, but they are still fun to look at all the same.

So...here are a lot of pictures.

(teaser)

My cute 'lil sister Zoe picking flowers at the park

August posing

August and Zoe posing together. We were visiting the park and saw the truck, and I couln't resist the photo op

I took my picture in the reflection on the slide. I was sitting under there watching August and Zoe playing and I decided to take my picture in the slide.

This picture of zoe at the top of the slide is by far is my favorite picture that I took at the park. It turned out really neat.

August posing oncemore at the park

Theese are pictures of me and my friends at teh baseball game. We had tons of fun and I think scared everyone away when we started singing and dancing

Aaron

Stephen hiding

Left to right: Erica, Aaron, and Stephen conpiring against Mike (our youth leader) who wouldn't stop farting.

Erica framing Aaron's head

"whats that?"

Just a pic of the game from our seats

another pic of Erica, Aaron,and Stephen

Our youth leader Shannon (Mike's wife)

Theese are just pictures that I took around my house. They aren't spectacular, but they aren't bad.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh, idn't she purdy?"

Zoe and August's chocolate faces.

I told you he poses well. All I have to say is "Auggie, do this"

"Smile big august, smile big" Okay, maybe I didn't mean that big

His foot hurt, and when I asked him if I could take his picture, he wanted his hurt foot to be pictured too.

Zoe's chocolate face

Another tire picture...how'd this get way down here? Oh well.

Sat, 28 May 2005 19:33:36 GMT

Okay......

Just wanted to see if this would work

Wed, 25 May 2005 23:23:27 GMT

School is out, and I'm geeked

Last night me and a bunch of my friends camped out in my woods and had a big bonfire, it was totally awesome. Erica kept invading my space (she couldn't keep her hands off me-jk), and Mayo (michel) was so out of it. I guess that I wasn't too there either-its the darned puffs, I sware, we have to quit taking so many puffs.

And though school is over for the year, I still have to go for four and a half hours for a while to drivers training--they just can't keep away from me.

"Like a fully laiden swallow........." THAT WAS FOR YOU MOMMA JOY, WE'LL MISS YOU! (Even though Ryan and I were being totally obnoxious at Idiana Beach, you still sereved as an awesome "mommy")

Play Pictures!!!

Sat, 07 May 2005 00:02:57 GMT

These are my pictures from my play. Fun!

Photobucket

Fri, 06 May 2005 23:59:05 GMT

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 16:05:54 GMT

I chatted with my ex today...Its pretty weird...he won't go away.

A walk along the path...

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 03:27:19 GMT

"And while walking along the winding path, I then came upon a twootser. Now that twootser was no ordanary twootser, for it was the prince twootser. How did I know, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. The prince twootser has upon his high-and-rititious-belly a glamberwomf, the most beautiful glamberwomf you ever did see. So, I asked him: 'Dear sir, may I see that glamberwomf you have upon your belly?' He looked at me with the most stragest look-for very rarely do twootsers converse with people-and spoke. But of his words I couldn't make any sence. Then it came to me. 'Of coarse!! How rediculous was I to think that a person would be conversing with a twootser. Why thats a completely outlandish thought! People are fictional characters.">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, I don't know exactly why I wrote that, but it just poped in my head and I started to write it. Maybe I can work it into my play........nah. I doubt that Gertrude would say such a thing...........

I am writing a play titled: The Not-So-Lackluster Life of Gertrude Gale, and I am so excited about it. I'm kinda having righter's block right now, but I know where I want to go with it. I can already see the costuming. Bright red lipstick, cat-eye glasses, polka-dotted outfits........

So, tomorrow is Spring Spec, and I am singing a solo. Burnin' Love, an elvis song. I absolutely love it, especially since I can just have all the fun I want with it! Well, I must venture on, I think I see some poongledoodles down the road. Now, poongledoodles are much better than twoosters. You see, they are so bright yellow and fluffy like a bright yellow fluffy gampserwog, only they are much more intelligant than glampserwogs.........

</p> <P

RUR

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 20:46:33 GMT

R.U.R.

An Epilogue by Ann Marie Elliott

Scene One

Time: one hundred years later

Scene: Inside a house on a tropical island. The mood is warm and you can hear the island breeze sifting through the house. The walls are covered with beautiful photographs of serene settings, such as sunsets. The chirping of birds and the lapping of water against shore is heard. An elderly man sits in an armchair, deeply engrossed in a novel. The narrator’s voice “reads” the book so the audience knows what is being read.

Narrator: “Amidst the vastness of the quiet and deserted lands, amidst all the empty, soulless shells who had overthrown the humans, there were two. Two who were unique in the superfluous normality of those times. They were not of the soulless beings who called themselves robots, they were, they had found, humans indeed. For the great doctor had discovered the secret of life, and he himself had created man. They were infused with soul and spirit and, most importantly of all, love. No longer would the soulless beings fear for the end of all humanity, for the two were, in all actuality, the new beginning of it...”

At the end of his words the man closes the book and the serene silence is broken by the sound of children’s laughter and playful screaming down by the water. The man replaces the book back onto the shelf and an elderly woman, his wife, enters. She is dressed simply yet elegantly, and carries herself with a gait not that of a woman her age. Moving quietly, she comes in and wraps her arms around the man. There is a moment where all that can be heard is the laughter of the children, and they both seem to be deep in thought.

Helena: So, were you reminiscing again my love?

Primus: Yes dear, I was. Who would’ve thought that we, mere robots created by Dr. Gall, would be praised so much, so passionately. And what’s more is that we are still alive to receive that praise and to see the result of our creation. Helena, (pauses in question) what do you think of it?

Helena: (ponders for a moment before answering) All I can say is, He must’ve known, somehow, that we needed to be made. That there was a reason that he finally followed the footsteps of the first Rossum and created man.

Primus: Well, yes, but what unsettles me is how the children are acting. Just the other day Atropos was talking about finding a way to make life easier for everyone, make it so that no one had to do work or be put in a distasteful disposition anymore.

Helena: (reassuring, whether she is trying to convince Primus or herself, she is uncertain) She was probably just saying that because she wanted to find some way out of her chores, pay no mind to her Primus.

Primus: (unsettled, he is deeply bothered by the thought) But it will do no good to pay no mind to it Helena. Don’t you see?? That is how They started it all, and almost ended all humanity. They wanted the same things, so they created the robots. We have to do something about it Helena.

Helena: Primus, calm yourself. Your not going to make matters any better by overreacting. Life has gone so well for all for so long. Why is this just bothering you now? It seems kind of dumb, don’t you think, to be worried about the opinions and ideas of a fourteen year old girl?

Primus: Yes, I am. Helena, we have worked so hard to re-create this wonderful utopia that the world now is. In fact, the world now is better than it ever was, even before the creation of Robots. I am not willing to lose all of that. You remember what happened then, don’t you? We were there, we were urged by the others to join their cause against the humans. (Getting increasingly agitated and upset as he speaks, he moves away from Helena and moves to the window to look out at the children playing outside) It must not happen again, I won’t allow it!

Helena: (She, too, now becomes increasingly agitated) Allow it? Allow it? You’re saying you wouldn’t ALLOW IT? What are you saying? That you believe your daughter, your own daughter, is capable to repeat history and be the cause of the end of all humanity once and for all? Primus, I thought you to be above thoughts like that. I thought you had it in your heart not to jump to conclusions. But your very own daughter? Not trusting your daughter who you have loved with all your heart since her birth? (Chuckles in dismay) I just wonder what you think of me. (This said, she moves quickly out of the room into the next but pauses in the doorway to look back at him briefly.)(Spoken very quietly) His daughter.

Scene Two

Time: Later that night

Scene: In a young girl’s room, though by the looks of it it isn’t. The walls are lined with shelves upon numerous shelves of books on anatomy and other sciences. She has numerous books open and sitting in various locations: on her desk, bed, floor, etc. She is deeply involved in rummaging through them, searching for something.

Atropos: Where is it, where is it, it has to be here somewhere. Come on!

Helena: (from outside the door) Atropos, dinner is almost ready.

Atropos: Alright mom, I’ll be out in a minute.

Helena: And, dear, your father and I need to talk to you about something, later, ok?

Atropos: (not really paying attention, still trifling through the books) Sure, ok. Later though. (Continues to rummage through and finally cries out in utter relief and joy.) I FOUND IT!! Helena: Found what, Atropos?

Atropos: Um..(trying to cover up for herself) nothing mom, just a school book I needed. (taking a journal of sorts in her hands, she laid it on her desk, and then ran out to eat with her family. The scene begins to fade, a spotlight on the desk where she laid it.)

Narrator: “...Nature has found only one method of organizing living matter. There is, however, another method, more simple, flexible and rapid which has not yet occurred to nature at all. This second process by which life can be developed was discovered by me today...”

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 05:48:41 GMT

I just finished watching Hotel Rwanda, and it was a truely touching movie. Yet it was also unsettling. So many people died in that disgusting act of genocide, but we as Americans didn't care enough about it to help. Why? Because they were africans. It sickens me to think such a thing.

OVER ONE MILLION BODIES WERE FOUND ALONE, NOT COUNTING ONES THAT WERE NEVER LOCATED AFTER THE "WAR". HUNDREDS OF BODIES WERE LAYING IN THE STREET. CHILDREN WERE TARGETED. THEY HUNTED PEOPLE DOWN SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY WERE DIFFERENT. THEY WERE BEATEN IN THE STREETS, INFRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES.

And what did the americans do? Waited 'til the end to finally step in. That truely makes me ashamed to be American. So many people died, and we slept through it all. Thank God for people like Paul (the man who saved over 1,790 people's lives during the event) who have open arms to help people.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, you really should. It is very touching and thought provoking. I don't know about you all, but I'm a big movie guru, and I like movies that make me tear. This was definately one of them.

PLEASE, PLEASE, VIEW THE LINK BELOW FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE MOVIE AND THE TRUE EVENT: http://www.mgm.com/ua/hotelrwanda/main.html

Pics

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 05:17:22 GMT

If you want to see some awesome pics of me and my friend chayris in florida, check out her journal:

chayris

Another dime, another......Robot??

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 23:30:18 GMT

R.U.R Rossum's Universal Robots

I don't know if any of you have ever gotten the chance to read R.U.R. by Capek, but it is very interesting and.....odd. I just finished it today, and it was very strange. It ended up that the robots killed the entire human race except for one man who was frantically trying to find a way to continue civilization. Then theese two robots pretty much just show up who are the most advanced robots yet, not robots really, but manufactured humans, then the play ends in Alquist (the only remaining human being) saying: "Go Adam, go Eve, the world is yours."

THATS IT, THEN ITS OVER. What's up with that?? Oh well, the final assignment for the section is to write an ending to the play, and since I love acting and writing, it will be my forte. (I'm a poet and didn't even know it!)

Jessica

Not much more progress in that area, prayers are still needed. Today when we were talking about it she said something about not beleiving in God, because "nothing can prove he exists", but she beleives in the Goddess of fertility and the God of food, harvest, etc.

OOOOOOOOOOk jess, you lost me there.

I mean, God and Goddess?????

Oh well, it will take many prayers and patience.

2day

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 00:54:36 GMT

We are reading this really strange play in English. R.U.R-Rossum's Universal Robots. I just finished reading the first act of it, and its pretty strange.

Anyway, I got in an argument with this girl today about God. Actually, it started out as a conversation about gays, and I said "Its not like I hate people like that, I'm just saying that we weren't created to be like that." And she started going off about how we weren't created anyway, and that God doesn't exist...That really irks me. I know I need to have more patience with her, and pray, but...how can someone truely believe that? Then again, I was raised in a christian household, so maybe that gives me a whole different perspective.

When I really think about it though, I can kindof see it from her perspective. She hasn't exactly been shown a lot of love in her life, and going through the rough things that she has, she has to think-like I'm sure everyone does atleast once- "Where was God then?" I don't really like it when someone tries to tell me how to act, or how to live my life, so I can see from her perspective this christian trying to boss her and tell her what to believe in. Oh well, I'll just have to pray about it.....alot.

Last night at Drama practice, I don't know what got into me. I was being completely insane. We all-in our drama club-have our times of goofing off during practice, and as long as the director is in a good mood it goes for a good laugh. I was hyped up and running around the halls with my friends singing and dancing to Internet! Drama during "free time". (we were really supposed to be running lines, but we were still to out of it from coming back from spring break) It was so much fun! I have grown so close to everyone in my drama club, they are like a family to me. We have our ups and downs, but who doesn't? Well, I have to get reading...